some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
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