You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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