Your face is a jimmy john
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize