ugly people sure do ruin things
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
