There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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