Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Randomize
