We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
She needs sedatives and a leash
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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