addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
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