dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
