My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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