Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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