Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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