I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
