if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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