Don't you send me to vm
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
