she looked like the bat from fern gully.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
