no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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