How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Randomize
