I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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