too bad you live with your parents still
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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