he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
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