just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
