I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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