shes about as inviting as chlamydia
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
