I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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