gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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