Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
