Christians are straight up FREAKS
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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