She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
