My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize