Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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