Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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