to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The struggles of a small town man whore
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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