I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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