The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
