Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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