gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
