no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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