Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
