Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
