Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
