I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
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Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
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It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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