About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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