We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
