chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i may or may not be watching the land before time
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
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