How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
