I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
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