i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
