My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
