Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
