I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
