If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
