I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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