my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Dicks are not precious.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
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