Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
