go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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