Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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