today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
