I'm eating all of the evidence.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
