Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You were trust falling into bushes
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
