i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
